Pet Forum / Aquaria / Goldfish / July 2008

Thank you for responding.  Unfortunately, it came too late.  She succumbed
about 12 hours or so after I sent out my plea for help.  She just kept
getting more bloated and more bloated.  I gave her an epsom salts bath for
only a few minutes and she seemed to bloat more from that and that seemed to
put her over the edge.  I went to bed at 4:00 a.m. for a few hours sleep and
she had succumbed by the time I awoke at 9:30 a.m.  Her rectum appeared to me
to be completely closed.  I don't know what that means.  There was also a
darkness behind her rectum.  I don't know whether this was blocked up feces
or, I have black rocks in my tank, and I'm wondering if perhaps she
accidentally swallowed a rock that she couldn't pass.  The day she passed I
was ready to give up on the whole process of being an aquarist.  The pain of
losing a 3-year-old goldfish was akin to the pain of losing a 3-year-old cat
or dog!  But somehow worse because at least with a cat or dog you have a vet
who can tell you that you did everything you could and that it wasn't your
fault.  With fish you just don't know.  I was, and still an to a degree, sick
with grief and guilt that I am a poor aquarist and that is why she died.  I
told my husband that I was selling my tank.  He asked me what I would do with
the other 7 goldfish for whom I am responsible.  I said I would sell them
with the tank.  Within 3 days I knew this was not something I could ever do.
For better or worse, I must play God and be responsible for the very water in
which those little lives swim for the duration of their lives.   Yay, though
I walk through the valley...